Dear Mr Esteemed Academic,

what happened to writing in short sentences?

You’ve gotten them severely confused with paragraphs

using a pattern of commas, dashes - and parentheses -

(which I have to break down into microscopic particles of dust 

to scavenge for morsels of knowledge). 

I must stuff my brain with what you call ‘knowledge’ 

before I can play pretend as An Academic

scouring old sources, swimming in dust.

It’s impossible to comprehend the life-span of your sentences 

as I fumble, tripping, cascading head and heels over your parentheses 

endlessly falling towards the next paragraph.

Dear Mr Long Paragraph,

could I share with you some valuable knowledge?

On the subject of effective use of parentheses 

by being An Academic 

I shouldn’t have to encourage you to divide sentences into sentences into sentences

which I crave crushing into dust. 

I’m no scientist investigating space dust 

but soon I’ll construct formulas from your paragraphs 

discovering how to become immortal using single sentences.

The equation I’ll write to decipher your knowledge 

will make me an Esteemed Academic 

opening the brackets of your layered parentheses. 

Dear Mr Unnecessary Parentheses 

can’t you see how my (youthful) skin is gathering dust?

I know you’re a (quite) famous academic 

but I’m not convinced by your (convoluted) paragraphs 

because while you’re showing off (all) your knowledge 

I’m becoming an expert on how to (properly) structure sentences. 

I’m being put to sleep by these sentences 

counting my breaths in parentheses 

as I scrape and claw for knowledge 

hopeful I’ll find it before my bones turn to dust 

reading the words of dead people using dead people to build paragraphs 

to out-do, to out-argue just to sound more academic.

I seek understanding and knowledge, not mazes of sentences. 

So, Mr Tiresome Academic, please pocket your parentheses.

I’m choking on dust just trying to digest your paragraphs.