In a dream, stung by a scorpion handler

We speak by emails I never check

Legs (pink, yellow, blue)

Hives, wrinkles

hypochondria

I ask what to write under ‘return to’

I think - there are better ways to live

I say I want salmon for lunch.

I pick and choose

Just like

Pigs in a vineyard

Snuff away from the grapes.

I have different responsibilities – I could not

Leave a nail half cut. I know

When I am wanted

I ache more when I am still,

So I have stopped moving.

Passive hope, fence-sitting.

Alluring, alluding, restraining,

I am dreaded, but my loving cataract eye

Sees the good and the bad

And I remember that I have to die, 

In my young life

I make bad decisions

But then again

My hope is not passive, it has passed.

I decide and I know that

you don’t want to reassure me.

and I choose to stay clear.

I don’t want to be stung by you again.